WHO WANTS TO HAVE TWINS?

  Are you single, newly married and have but one desire from God; to have twin children? Perhaps you have children but still hope to have twin children at least to wrap up the chapter? Look no further as you have right here the solution to your problem. I present to you all the most important instruction you must adhere to if you must make your dream come true. I mean, you can try all methods but if you dare violate this one then OYO is your case. Remember I am a twin so take my advice with the largest pinch of salt possible!

 Being a twin is not a choice we all can flick our fingers and make but for the few select, it is a wonderful experience. To have someone who you can confide in, love unconditionally, gist with and be goofy with is nothing close to beautiful, it is amazing. I mean who doesn’t want such a life of bliss?

 Sadly for those of you expecting twin children, you can never know what that feels like but now you can watch from a very close distance. I mean you get to enjoy been used; having both breasts in use at the same time (for the women), two humans wailing for attention at the same time, buying identical everything and paying double bills! Is that not just awesome? I do say so myself.

 Look, are you sure you want twins, like really sure? OK oh, then read this carefully: YOU MUST ENDEAVOR TO AVOID CONSCIOUSLY OR UNCONSCIOUSLY IRKING THE HELL OUT OF TWINS. This is very serious oh as in all my years of professional twin distribution, I have discovered many couples miss the opportunity as a result of their many misdemeanors against twins. The principle rule therefore is to avoid asking stupid questions or making similar statements. Some of the most ridiculous include:

ARE YOU PEOPLE IDENTICAL TWINS?

 This is first because this is by far the most annoying question I have had to deal with as a twin. For heaven's sake, how did we catch your attention if we did not look alike? When we even politely answer that question, some still press the already open ulcer by insisting that we are not twin sisters but just sisters. Pheeew! Can someone get me a SLEDGE hammer already?

  

WILL YOU BOTH MARRY THE SAME HUSBAND?

  OK, I understand some people find that acceptable but seriously what year are we in? 2016 abi? Why in God’s green earth would any rational person be asking me if I’d love to share a man with my sister when men abound like fishes in the sea? For the records, we don’t even like the same kind of guys so chill abeg! I wonder if twin guys are asked if they will marry the same woman, Peter and Paul, over to you guys, answer!

WHO IS OLDER?

 Wait oh,how can you have twin children with this kind of question ? I used to believe that one of the criteria for being a twin is that you must share the same birthday. Please did that change for world people?

WHO IS FINER/ SMARTER/NICER?

  No wait, do guys expect me to actually answer that? how do I confidently say I am finer and smarter than my sister ? You know the crazy part is some people won’t even ask they’d hurriedly start deducing and scoping you like you are some mannequin wearing a multicolored underwear. Please and please, opinions like that one is not appreciated.

 Asides the above questions some people just walk up to us and make us rub their bare and sometimes sweaty bellies( expecting us to just throw down one set). Look if you insist on giving me germs and bacteria, then just know you aren’t having twins! Ehen, for the things to do right, expect that in my next post some years from now after I have given birth to my own sets.

 I owe you guys some honesty so I’d say that If you give me any gift because you are looking to have twins, by all means, I will collect but just know that…

I AM ALSO PRAYING TO HAVE TWINS AND TRIPLETS…If you know the way show me and stop wasting my time!   

***WINK*** 
Photo Credit: Instagram ( Pregnancy_beyond)