GOD WANTS US TO BE SINGLE…

  Those who know me well know that I am hardly a fan of “inspirational books” because I preoccupy myself with the notion that they contain information that is logical; anyone with common sense knows consciously what these books preach, the author just creatively reconstructs the language and sells to you gullible readers. How foolish I have been!

 My brief self-story is simply to make you aware that the thoughts I share in this post are nothing of my so popular commonsense in fact after reading this book, I realized I know absolutely nothing about who I am and what my purpose in life is. The book is titled Single, Married, Separated & Life After Divorce by Myles Munroe and I’d advise you all to grab a copy fast (Advert freely given)!

  Back to my subject, do you agree with me that God really wants us all to be single? Before you eat up my blog, let me first clarify my understanding of being single.

Taking away the contextual meaning of the word single, Dictionary.com defines it as being whole, sole, and unique. Etymologically, the word single garners its roots from the French and Latin words Sengle and Singulus respectively. Both imply individual or one piece.

  With our definition well explored, I’d like to further add that God plans that we all be whole, individual, and unique as in single. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t have taken the pains to create us with different appearances, finger prints etc.

  Now the idea of being single as a state before being married is also a point to consider (wait for it). Ever wondered the real reason for the skyrocketing rate of divorce in our century? Well Munroe accuses not the devil but our inability to pursue the right things and our inability to build concrete foundation before marriage and I agree.

  Now if being single is being whole, it implies that a person suitable for marriage must first attain that level of uniqueness or individuality before he or she is ready to be with another equally whole individual.

  

  I must confess that I hardly know myself and I doubt most of you do. If you think you do, then perform this brief exercise. Take time out, ask people how they perceive you; your weaknesses and strengths. Some of the revelations will shock you to the bones. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying to be married you need to be perfect, no! I am saying that to be married you need to click off a few things that I will highlight below:

Understanding the Difference between Being Alone and Being Single

  Most of the time, we confuse the popular attachments of being single as being alone or lonely. For instance, when most people describe mature single women, they describe them as lonely and incomplete. That is so wrong. Like I stated earlier, being single means that you have achieved a state of wholeness or individuality. Being alone on the other hand has nothing to do with being single rather it implies isolation or exclusion. According to Munroe “some of the loneliest people in the world are in marriages. Loneliness is magnified when you marry, if you are not unique, separate, and whole, or if your spouse is not”. Again, I concur. Loneliness is a thing of the mind and not of the status! Hence, you can be single (contextually) or married but still be lonely. The remedy though is to be single (etymologically and spiritually). That way, aloneness takes on a new meaning, you no longer long for companionship from others but enjoy your own company because you have come to realize the individuality that God has designed( consider the illustration of Adam in the book).

Discovering Your Primary Assignment

  Who do you see in the mirror? Can you say emphatically that you know who you are? Do you love yourself? Consider how fairly you treat other people as this will help you answer the self-love question. How well have you pushed God’s primary assignment or purpose for your life? Whilst on my way home last night, I overheard a pastor’s message about the things to look out for in a spouse. He said “men don’t marry a woman that cannot pray for at least one hour”. At first I was like “shey this man is ok ni”? but today I realize that if a woman cannot stand in the place of prayer for her home then she inevitably leaves her home open for the enemy to prance about ( are you sure you are ready for all that? ). Again, I recall the words of Munroe “you are only fit, or ready, for marriage when you are totally fulfilled in God”.

Why Do You Want to get Married?

  Over time, I have realized that even Mama Zeus aka okachamara (know it all) wants to be married for all the wrong reasons. I know most of you are guilty but allow me point out my world class ridiculous reasons:

I Want Babies: the only knowledge I have taken from my precociousness is the fact that I love children. I love children so much that I am determined to have at least five of mine and many more from others. The natural fear that age is no friend of our dear eggs further presses the point of finding me a Papa Zeus and fast.

She is Just Following the Trend: everybody is getting married, getting engaged and bellanaija does not make it any easier. I want that diamond ring thrill and the fuss and frills of being a bride. After that what next?

  

  Let me stop opening my bum…my point is I can’t think of one positive reason for wanting to get married. If you find yourself in my category then let’s do ourselves a favor and allow ourselves be conformed to the will and purpose of God. Pursuing individuality will yield positive results.

  

  Now you might read from the beginning of this post till the end and still might not be convinced to become single before becoming married but I can assure you that one way the devil tries to affect the people of God is through marriage. He knows that it is an honorable institution designed by God so he will try to infuse the world’s perception which brings me back to the “who you are “question. Perhaps you have completed the stage of singleness and the “good egg” for your omelet isn’t around the corner. Worry not, keep your trust tight and keep the faith going. This is the right time to pursue God’s ministry. Occupy yourself with the words of Matthew 6:33 and in due time, the desires of your heart will be fulfilled.

                                 "God wants us to be single before getting married"!

P.S: I implore you all once again to get yourselves a copy of this amazing book by Myles Munroe. May His soul rest in peace!