HER NAME IS MANE !

"I think that beauty is subjective. I've  heard statements like (less classically beautiful ) my entire life. Being a dark-skinned black woman, you heard it from the womb. And ''classically not beautiful'' is a fancy term for saying ugly. And denouncing you and erasing you...it's about teaching a culture how to treat you because at the end of the day , you define yourself"

                                                                                                                               - Viola Davis

"My mother would say 'you can't eat beauty. It doesn't feed you.'' And these words plagued and bothered me; I didn't really understand them until finally I realized that beauty was not a thing that I could acquire or consume , it was something that I just had to be."

                                                                                                                                            -Lupita Nyong 'O

" A relaxer alters the hair chemically and makes it permanently straight . But it also burns the scalp . and sometimes the hair just refuses to be totally straight , so they'll use a tong and then it smells just like burning goat .''

                                                                                                            -Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie 

 " I am kind of fascinated that women who could well have natural  beautiful curls of their very own would choose to wear artificial hair"

                                                                                                                                - Afrobella

" My natural hair journey is me wanting to witness the growth of my hair without relaxers. And because I'm lazy , this is my chance to stay away from beauty salons."

                                                                                                                                                 - Feyi 

   When I first decided to cut my hair, it had nothing to do with appreciating my African roots or my inner beauty. Unlike Adichie, I did not find myself in a foreign country where I had to  remind myself that my colour demeaned my personality or like Nyong' O who constantly struggled with  accepting that being black is beautiful. My decision to cut my hair was simply a bid to cut the cost of maintaining my long hair.

    I first cut my hair last year December. All through the first week, I refused to look at my mirror. I consciously walked quickly past it because I could not combat the feeling that something was wrong with my appearance. Although I felt weird, I stubbornly continued cutting it, even tinted it at a time in a bid to get comfortable in my skin or perhaps the tinting was the rebellious part of me saying, to hell with your opinion!

  In an interview with CNN, Adichie spoke about the black woman and the need for her to embrace her natural hair. What she didn't mention is the clear cut prejudice against women who wear their hair cropped. Men especially in the eastern part of Nigeria believe that women who wear their hair cropped are difficult , not submissive and in all rebellious. Some on the other hand argue that cutting the hair signifies the death of the man of the house.Even though I didn't fall into any of the aforementioned categories, I still faced prejudice all through last year because of how I chose to wear my hair.

  All of a sudden, my male admirers drastically reduced. The compliments reduced and in its stead, I received shrieks of wild undiluted terror. Guys kept asking  why I cut my beautiful long hair. The very brave ones told me that my cut was not attractive . Although I kept up the carefree attitude, in my private space, I actually believed I was no longer beautiful so I bought bold earrings, wore more makeup and wore form fitting and uncomfortable clothes.

  

  That the black woman's Africanness is graded by her hair is an ideology that constantly plagues me. I can't deny that being black means I have to constantly affirm my humanity in the face of eurocentrism but does this action not make me a pun in the whole affair of racial discrimination? Even saying that her beauty is graded by her hair is absurd. Sadly, that's the situation beyond our control. Every time I think of this issues, I recall the words of Indie Arie " I am not my hair " and I can't stop wondering if she actually meant that she is first human before being Black ? 

   While still trying to rock my cropped hair, I discovered the unending buzz of the natural hair movement. Natural hair was all of a sudden the trend and thousands of Nigerian women seemed to be repenting of the sins of relaxing, perming and stretching . Everyone suddenly  realized the many benefits of Ori as opposed to chemically processed hair products. Ladies were appearing everyday with their hairs cropped to the chagrin of most men.The craze was alarming but for me, this was my opportunity to grow my hair without having to explain to people that I could no longer afford to maintain my hair long.

 

  The reaction I received when I first got my protective style after months of cropped hair was nothing short of epic. The admirers rushed back like water from the mount of Horeb. All of a sudden the buzz on my phone was uncontrollable, undying love the theme of every ping. When I asked why now after many months of MIA, I was accused of unrequited love. I tried to play the fool but all along, I laughed and hoped my lips could fire real life spears.

  

  Its December again and my natural hair is seven months of blissful growth. Unlike many naturalistas, I try not to spend too much on products after all, they call it natural so the more natural the growth , the better. I use my Ori ( Shea butter), water, olive oil and castor oil. Just so I don't feel out of the crowd, I manage to buy the leave- in conditioner ( it works magic ) but that's about all I can fix into my budget. I still use my regular shampoo and conditioner , won't sleep in satin bonnets and won't put avocado in my hair because I hate it !

   Eventually my aim is not to follow the trends but to be comfortable in my own skin. Even with the natural hair, I still get offensive second glances, still get discouraging remarks like " it's not even fine" but I'm determined to do whatever I like with my hair. It still remains my hair, my property and what I fondly call ...Mane!