Do you remember I mentioned a genre of drama? Well on a closer inspection, all I see is a theatrical washing of dirty linens. The aim is to prove that she is on her healing path but this book only proves she is quite bitter and is yet to get over her hurt. Why do I think so?
You see Toke's mistake is what people; women and men if you please, make on a daily. In fact as I type these words, a girl is somewhere thinking of how to cook the best meal, buy the sexiest dress just to make sure her man keeps his eyes eternally rested on her. A man somewhere is planning how to use the last money in his account to buy a girl an iPhone 7 just to make sure she doesn't get a DANTATA to buy it for her.
You see when the victim in quotes realizes his or her folly, two things are usually involved. They either move on and sulk for a while or hold on to the pain and stalk the evil lover.
You see when the victim in quotes realizes his or her folly, two things are usually involved. They either move on and sulk for a while or hold on to the pain and stalk the evil lover.
Which of the options do you think Toke chose? Clearly from On Becoming, she chose to tie her life around Maje. This does not make her a survivor, a strong woman or a wise person in the first place. She doesn't want to let him go without a fight, she had to have the last laugh.
If you cheat on me, give me STIs, flaunt another woman, make sex tapes with the same woman, cancel our wedding plans several times, make me feel less beautiful because of my skin colour, attempt to email me divorce papers and to top it all have a son behind my back all within 12 years then for heaven's sakes why would I even want to hold on to remains of the relationship long enough to write a book about it? To what aim? To encourage women who are going through the same that they can get out and be successful? No! I disagree strongly.
Toke did not leave when she had series of choices to. She left when the gist became popular dressing room news. Every pain she experienced was self-inflicted.
Toke did not leave when she had series of choices to. She left when the gist became popular dressing room news. Every pain she experienced was self-inflicted.
Back to feminism. Many self-acclaimed feminists ran to her page to congratulate her for being strong after the excerpts were released. It is worthy of applause that she could write a book but that's all the strength I see. Perhaps if she had taken a less vindictive stand, maybe written a memoir talking briefly about her marriage and largely about her successes then it would have joined my list of favourite autobiographies rather On Becoming revealed a woman who is not over being scorned and slapped in the face with what she was truly too busy to take on.
This brings me to an excerpt from the book that stated that she wanted to have kids for Maje but at the time, she was considering his career. He was putting together his fitness centre and the bill of raising a child in her opinion was going to strain their relationship even more. I'm sorry but I think that story best fits the Toke that we all know. The aggressively go getting woman who putting sentiments aside has no space for the sluggishness of pregnancy. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying she didn't want babies. I am saying that at the time, the Toke who was everywhere and was kicking off new projects would barely have had time to have sex or cook a proper meal for Le boo.
A career woman must pray to God for an extraordinary man. Truthfully, such men are fast going extinct. But let's face facts, Maje couldn't be bothered as he could always cure the heat with the OTHER WOMAN. I call her (You know who) that because if Maje didn't see her worthy enough to wife, then her name in history remains in the encyclopedia of side chicks.
This brings me to an excerpt from the book that stated that she wanted to have kids for Maje but at the time, she was considering his career. He was putting together his fitness centre and the bill of raising a child in her opinion was going to strain their relationship even more. I'm sorry but I think that story best fits the Toke that we all know. The aggressively go getting woman who putting sentiments aside has no space for the sluggishness of pregnancy. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying she didn't want babies. I am saying that at the time, the Toke who was everywhere and was kicking off new projects would barely have had time to have sex or cook a proper meal for Le boo.
A career woman must pray to God for an extraordinary man. Truthfully, such men are fast going extinct. But let's face facts, Maje couldn't be bothered as he could always cure the heat with the OTHER WOMAN. I call her (You know who) that because if Maje didn't see her worthy enough to wife, then her name in history remains in the encyclopedia of side chicks.
Women all over the world don't need the message of On Becoming, they need to understand life's DONT GIVE A SHIT policy that says "If he is not yours, no matter how hard you try, he can't be". There is no feminism in this, it is rather unbecoming!
Finally, I want to state emphatically that Toke is a smart woman. She has channeled her vexation into profit making. While people like me would get fat from a heartbreak, some woman is cashing out from it. N5000 for a hard copy is no joke but bad belle people have started spreading the soft copy for free. Very bad oh!
Feel free to share your thoughts especially if you don't agree with me.
Feel free to share your thoughts especially if you don't agree with me.
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